Caught!
by Lady Knight Maud
Summary: What would have happened if Duke Gareth had seen Alanna and Jon kissing when Alanna was still his squire? Set during itHotG, two weeks after the war at River Drell.
1. At the library

Hi, this is my second ff, I hope you'll enjoy it. Please don't be angry at my mistakes, you know, I'm from Austria and only 13 years old, so there'll probably be much spelling mistakes or things like that.

Now, on with the story...

Before the first chapter starts, I want to say, that the story is set in itHotG, two weeks after the end of the war at River Drell.

* * *

Chapter 1: At the library (A/N: I know it's a silly title, but well, nothing came to my mind)

Alanna had just managed to escape from the ball that was given because of Jonathan's 19 birthday (A/N well, I don't know if that agrees with the original story, but well,...don't mind) and now she was looking for some interesting book that should help her making the time pass faster. As she stood there in front of the bookshelves, she heard a noise behind her.

Alanna turned round to see Jonathan, leaning in the doorframe. "Alanna, what are you doing here?", he asked. Then he saw the look on her face and began to laugh. "My own squire doesn't want to celebrate my birthday."

Alanna frowned. She really didn't want him to be there right now. To be honest she didn't want to see him anytime recently. Since the war at River Drell she had avoided Jonathan as much as she could, what wasn't easy, because he was still her knight master, no matter what had happened two weeks before.

"Well, I think I can celebrate your birthday at another time just well. You know I'm no girl - or let's say 'boy' for that kind of party. Still, I'm sure **you** should get back to the ballroom, 'cause remember, it's, like you said, your birthday. You don't want that they send out a searching party for you, do you?", she finally told him.

"You're right, I'd better get back.", Jonathan said and walked out.

Alanna sighed. She was rid of him and that was all that mattered to her right now. Then she saw that Jon was still there looking around. _What does he do there?_, Alanna wondered. Suddenly Jonathan turned around and went back in the library.

Alanna raised an eyebrow. "I thought you wanted to go.", she said, hands on her hips.

"Well, I forgot something I wanted to ask you.", Jon answered.

Alanna was getting angry. "And that is...?"

"Do I get a birthday present?", he asked, smiling.

Now Alanna was confused. "I gave you one" That was the only thing that came to her mind. She didn't really know what to answer at such a silly question.

"I didn't mean that.", Jon said, coming closer to her, too close for Alanna's liking. His voice was soft as he said, "I mean something like...that" Suddenky he kissed her.

Alanna was shocked and she felt butterflies in her stomach. That was really the last thing she wanted, but somehow she liked it, though. Alanna realized that she wasn't able to move. A part of her wanred to push him away, butthe otherpart of her wanted to kiss him back.

* * *

I'll leave it with that now, please review and tell me if I should continue or not. If you liked it, I promise, I'll add the second chapter soon. I'm not one of those, who begin a story and don't finish it. 


	2. Duke Gareth

Hi, again! Second chapter is up! I was quick, wasn't I? Please R&R!

Well, on with the story...

**

* * *

Chapter 2: Duke Gareth**

Meanwhile...

The ballroom was very beautiful that night. Everywhere hang saphire blue decorations, wich matched exactly Jonathan's eyes. The room was full of people and everybody seemed to enjoy themselves. But nobody recognised that the prince was absent.

Duke Gareth was talking with his son, when he noticed that Lady Delia of Eldorne was standing in a dark corner and talking with Duke Roger. That wasn't was Delia did usually. Most of the time Duke Gareth saw her, she was with the other girls of the court, talking about gossip, or she was surrounded by almost every knight that was available, or she was with Prince Jonathan.

Jonathan. Duke Gareth looked around, but he didn't see him. Where was he? It was his birthday ball. That made him think. A few moments later, he excused himself to his son and went to look for the young prince.

During his walk he was thinking hard about the last two weeks. Everybody had known about the affair Jon and Delia had had but now that Jonathan had come back from the war, it was all different. As clear it had been that the prince had been in love with the green-eyed beauty as clear it was now that Jonathan had lost his interest in her.

When the duke came to the corridor where the library was, he heard a voice. "...gave you one" He didn't identify this voice. It was really weird, it sounded like a mix of the voice of man and that of a woman. Then there was another voice, "I didn't mean that" Duke Gareth stopped immediatly. It was Jonathan's voice. Why was the prince on his own birthday in the library with some unknown boy - or was it a girl? He wasn't sure. "I mean something like...that", there was Jonathan's voice again. Duke Gareth decided to look what was going on in there and fastened his steps.

When he opened the door to the library he nearly collapsed.

* * *

Well, I like to stop now, because it makes it more interesting, doesn't it? Tell me! I'm sorry for the short chapters, but I'll promise I'll try to make them longer. Look, it's just my second ff... 


	3. Oh, my Goodness!

Hi, readers! Thanks for the 2 reviews! I've never thought, that I'll get any reviews. Thanks, thanks, thanks!

**Queen of the Thieves: **I promise, I won't give you a cliffhanger. I couldn't, anyway. I like the story too much. ;-)

You want me to continue? Okay.

So the story goes on again...

**

* * *

Chapter 3: Oh, my Goodness!**

...When Duke Gareth opened the door to the library he nearly collapsed. He couldn't believe his eyes, when he saw that the heir to the throne was kissing his squire.

"What do you two think you're doing?", he shouted at them, when he had catched his breath again.

The two turned around in shock and Alanna went pale and Jonathan flushed. "Uncle, it... I...we...", Jon stuttered, but he was cut off by the duke.

"Jonathan, why? You have the most beautiful girl at court, so why do you kiss your squire?", he said as he looked at them in disgust.

"Uncle, please, it's not what it looks like! Let me explain, it...", Jon began but Alanna quickly put a hand over his mouth as she realized what he was going to tell Duke Gareth.

"No, Jon! Stop it!", she shouted hysterically.

The face of the duke hardened. "He's right, Jon. There's nothing left to explain. I know what I've seen. It must stop! One day you'll be king, Jonathan! The country can't have a gay king! Well, I give you one chance. But only one! If you stop that now, I won't tell your father, but if I see you kissing a boy again, it'll have consequences.", he told Jonathan sternly.

Jon opened his mouth, but Duke Gareth didn't give him the chance to speak, "Go now Jon!" When he saw that Jonathan and his squire didn't move he shouted angrilly, "You're dismissed!", he said and pointed to the door.

As Alanna walked past the duke behind Jonathan, he leaned towards her and whispered, "I'll have an eye on you. Trust me, if that happens again, I'll know it!" Then he let her go.

* * *

Well, sorry, I know this chapter wasn't long, either. Does it really matter how long the chapters are? If they're short then there are many of them. And if they're long then there are little of them. Actually, it doesn't matter, does it?

The next chapter is my favourite. lol Keep reading my story! ;-)


	4. To tell or not to tell

Hi, readers! Thanks for all the nice reviews. You don't know what they mean to me. Oh, I just love getting good reviews.

**GSCer: **It's definitely A/J! Sorry for all George fans, but he'll probably not even take a part in this story. And yes, there'll be a chapter where you'll see what's going on in Duke Gareth's mind.

**BlackMoonShine: **Well, you're right, I'm a bit unfair to Duke Gareth, but it's difficult for him to handle that and he was shocked, so that doesn't mean he'll be like that the whole story.

**

* * *

Chapter 4: To tell or not to tell, that's the question!**

Jon and Alanna walked to their rooms instead of going back to the party. When they reached their chambers, Alanna locked the door.

As the door was locked, Jonathan began to speak,"Alanna, we have to tell him!"

Alanna looked at him angrilly. "No, we can't! He'll send me home or to the convent and I can't get my shield.", she shouted at him.

Jon grabbed her shoulders tight. So tight, that it hurted. "But he thinks I'm gay!"

Alanna took his hands away. "And? That's not **that** bad! Everyone knows that there are a few people that are gay, these things happen in the best families.", she told him.

Jon shook his head. "Don't be silly! You know it's different with me. I'm the heir to the throne! If they think I'm gay...Mithros knows what they'll do to me. Maybe they'll cast a spell on me, or something like that. Do you want that?" It was clear that he was very desperate. To him, it that was really the worst thing that could have happened.

Alanna became angry at him again. "Do you always just think of yourself? What's with me?", she screamed at him, "Actually, it was all your fault! I've never asked you to kiss me, did I? I'm right. It's your fault so you have to take the consequences!". She sat down on her bed and began to sob. She just couldn't hold her tears back anymore.

To her, it looked like it was all over now. Six years were for nothing. Now she'd have to leave and go to the convent and she'd never become a knight. _Why now?_, she thought. _Only two more years and I would be a knight. But now? I will have to give up everything I worked for so hard and just because Jon's such an idiot! Damn it!_

Jonathan looked at her. It hurt him to see her like that, but what should he do? There seemed to be no way out. But actually, she was right. He sat next to her and put an arm around her, trying to comfort her. "I'm sorry", he said, his voice soft, "you're right, it **is** my fault. But I'm sure we'll find a way out. You'll get your shield and be a knight. I promise."

Alanna looked up at him. "You do?"

"Yes. Let's wait until tomorrow, maybe we find some ideas to get out of that.", Jonathan told her.

Alanna just realized what she was doing. She was lying in the arms of her knight master, the man, who had just kissed her a few moments ago. That was **not** good. Suddenly a strange feeling came over her. Alanna decided that she had to get away now, because she really didn't want Jonathan to get the wrong ideas. Quickly she stood up and walked over to the door that conected their rooms.

"You're right, let's wait until tomorrow. Good night, Jon.", she said and disappeared in her rooms.

* * *

Well, wasn't it a bit longer? Anyway, I try to update as soon as possible, but it'll maybe take a while, because I have to write a work for geography and I have only 5 days left **and **I haven't started yet. Well, wish me luck! 


	5. Delia's notions

Oh, oh, I forgot something. Shit! Well, now there it is:

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine, all belongs to Tamore Pierce!

Why you haven't told me, that this was missing? You could have told me in a review. ;-) Well, anyway, it's my fault, so why am I talking around like that?

Oh and thanks for the reviews!

Okay, on with the story...

**

* * *

Chapter 5: Delia's notions**

Meanwhile...

Duke Gareth was walking back to the ballroom, unsure what to think about what he had just seen. He was very worried about Jonathan but he was also confused. Anyway, he was regreting that he had been so rude. Now he thought that he had probably done the wrong thing. Maybe he should have talked with Jon and Alan instead of shouting at them.

But it was more difficult than it would be if it were someone else. If it would have been one of the other guys like Raoul or Alex or even his own son, it wouldn't be that worse. But Jonathan? He'll have to produce a new heir some day in the future. How will he do this if he's gay? Something must be done about him, but what? He couldn't just wait and risk a civil war when Jonathan dies.

A few minutes later he reached the ballroom. When he heard the loud music and saw the many dancing people, he realized that he didn't want to be there right now. There was just to much to think about and so he didn't want to stay here, talking with some people, whom names he didn't even know. Then he saw Lady Delia again.

That was the second problem. He just couldn't understand how a man like Jonathan could become gay when he had had an affair with a woman like Delia. How could he help Jon, if he didn't even understand him a little bit?

But one thing was clear. The things he had said to the prince wouldn't help. He was sure about that. He was also sure that alone he couldn't help. _Should I tell someone?_, he thought, but then he remembered what he had said. "If you stop that now, I won't tell anyone..."_ Yes, that was what I have said. I can't break my promise, can I? Oh, boy, am I in a mess!_

Duke Gareth just wanted to leave the ballroom, but then he saw that Duke roger was walking away from Delia and he changed his mind. _Maybe she could tell me something that helps me to find out what has changed Jonathan's mind about girls and boys_, he thought and went over to her.

"Lady Delia, it's a pleasure to meet you tonight", he said.

Delia smiled sweetly and answered, "The pleasure is mine, Duke Gareth"

Duke Gareth didn't want to waste his time with small-talk so he tried to come to the point as quickly as possible. "I wonder where Prince Jonathan is tonight. Have you seen him?"

Delia rased her eyebrows. "Yes, when the ball started, but he went away after fifteen minutes or so."

"Did he tell you where he was going?"

Delia shook her head a bit. "No, he didn't say anything to me tonight, your grace"

Duke Gareth was even more confused. _He didn't even say a word to her? Well, that's weird_, he thought. "He didn't? Do you have an idea why? It has seemed as if he liked you, hasn't it?"

It was hard for Lady Delia to stop herself from laughing out loud. The word "like" was just too funny. _How naïve!_, she thought, _He loved me! That dumb guy! _

When she had calmed down, she thought of a proper answer. "Yes, I thought he liked me, but recently, you know, he has...well, changed"

"Do you have any idea why?", Duke Gareth asked.

Delia suddenly became suspicious. _Why does he want to know that? Is it really that interesting which girl Jonathan fancies?_ She was confused but she still thought it was better to answere. "Well, no, but I think it's kind of weird, because I haven't seen him with any girl lately. Wait! When I think about...yes, I haven't seen him with any girl since the war against Tusain. I was wondering about it and I wanted to find out why, so I have spied on him a little bit. But I saw no other girl or something. The only strange thing I discovered was that he was never with his squire. When they met, Alan always ran away. It was really weird. It looked like they are angry at each other. Maybe that's the reason. You know, they're really good friends and maybe Prince Jonathan is just upset because of that."

Duke Gareth wrinkled his brow. That was not what he had expected. _They avoid each other? What I saw didn't look like avoiding. Alan runs away when he sees Jonathan?_, he thought. To him, it didn't make sense. Then he remembered the look on Alans face as he was kissed by Jonathan. _It didn't really look like he was enjoying that kiss. He looked a bit shocked. Maybe Alan isn't gay and only Jonathan is. _Then an idea came to Duke Gareth's mind. _That's it! I'll talk to Alan tomorrow! _Now he was quite happy with himself. Maybe there was a way out of that "gay mess".

Happily he excused himself at Delia and walked to his office. He had to think about what he would say to Alan and what he would ask him,

* * *

Yeah, it was longer! Did you like the chapter? I liked it. Tell me what you think! 


	6. The next problem

Hi, readers, thanks for the nice reviews. I didn't know what to write in the next chapter yesterday, but in school today I had an idea. Guess what! It gets worse! Yes, worse than it is already! Curious?

So here we go again...

**

* * *

Chapter 6: The next problem**

The next morning Alanna went to the training yards to improve her fencing skills like every morning. After quite half an hour more and more squires and pages came to do the same and with them came a few ladies to watch them. Alanna didn't like to be watched so she wanted to go. Then she saw Lady Delia.

Suddenly a thought hit her, it hit her so hard that she dropped her sword. Almost every head in the yard turned round and stared at her. Alanna flushed and quickly bent down and picked it up. Then she went away very fast, so fast that she nearly ran.

Lady Delia watched 'Alan' going away and then she saw something lying on the floor. She came closerto it and grabbed it. Delia rased her eyebrows. It was a charm. It was white with a golden symbol on it. Delia touched her own charm and took it off to look at it. It looked more expensive and it was more decorated but the golden symbol on it looked almost the same as hers. _Mine is a pregnancy charm, but why should Alan need something like that?_, she thought suspiciously, _He's a guy, it must be something else._ She shook her head and put her own charm around her neck again.

* * *

When Alanna reached Jonathan's chambers she was out of breath and sweating, because of her hard training and because she had run the whole way. She knocked on his door and waited.

A few seconds later Jon opened the door. "What have you done? You're sweating like...like you were running for hours", he said.

Alanna made a face at him. "Thanks. I just **love **getting compliments", she said sarcastically. Then she walked in. "Could I wash my face in your bathroom?", she asked.

"Of course."

When she stepped in front of the mirror, she let out a shriek. Jonathan stormed into the bathroom, his face pale. "What happened?"

"My charm's gone!", she cried.

"What charm?", Jon said, looking confused.

Alanna's face turned into a deep red. "Well, it's a charm that...should keep me from getting pregnant", she stammered.

Jonathan raised his eyebrows.

"Don't look at me like that! Mistress Cooper gave it to me a long time ago. I didn't ask for it, okay?" she said angrilly and embarassed.

"Sorry", Jon said. He flushed and walked quickly out of the bathroom.

Alanna stood a few seconds more in front of the mirror then she followed Jonathan. "Jon, what if someone finds it? What if...someone sees that **I** have lost it? They'll find out that I'm a girl!", she said and she was near tears again. _As if I hadn't enough problems!_, she thought.

"Alanna, please, we don't know what has happened. Let's see if we can find your charm before someone else does", Jon said. Alanna nodded and they walked back to the training yards.

* * *

But the charm wasn't there anymore. Then Alanna saw something sparkling in Lady Delia's hand. It was her charm. _Oh, no,_she thought. She grabbed Jonathan's arm and dragged him behind her. When they where out of sight and earshot she said, "Delia has it!"

"What?", Jon asked.

"You've heard me. Lady Delia has my charm!", Alanna almost shouted at him.

"That's a mess. Do you think she could find out that it's a pregnancy charm?", he asked worried.

"How am I supposed to know that?", she asked. Alanna was really frustrated. What should she do? She couldn't just go to Delia and ask her to give her the charm back. _But maybe Jon could do something..._, she thought. "Jon, you have to do something!"

"And what?", he asked and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Sleep with her!", Alanna said.

Jon couldn't believe his ears. That was something he really hadn't expected. "What?", he cried, so loud that some servants that were passing by turned their heads and stared at him.

"Don't be childish! I know you've heard me. Spend the night with her and when she sleeps you look for my charm and take it. And if you make sure that Duke Gareth sees you when you go to her chambers with her, he won't think you're gay anymore. It's the way out of both our problems.", Alanna told him.

A part of her was happy to have a way out of that mess, but the other part of her felt sick at the thought of Jonathan sleeping with Delia. But anyway, Alanna would never admit that. _I'm not in love with Jon or something like that! So why does my stomach feels like someone had hit it?_, she thought.

"No!", Jonathan protested. "I'm not going to sleep with her!"

"Oh, come on, Jon! You did it before, admit it! It can't be that hard, can it?", she asked, angrilly.

"I said 'No'!", Jonathan shouted. It hurted him that she wanted something like that from him. Did she really didn't understand that he was in love with her?

"And why?" Alanna didn't think that he was serious about her and so she just couldn't understand him. She didn't know that Jon's feelings for her where not the same as his feelings for Delia had been. He had had a crush on Delia but he **loved **Alanna. That was much different.

"Because...because of us.", he said.

Alanna didn't want any relationship with Jon so there wasn't any 'them' for her. "Us? Look, Jon, there had been no us, there is no us and there'll never be any us. You understand me?", she shouted.

Jonathan looked away. "If that's what you think", he said and walked away.

* * *

Oh, poor Jonathan, isn't he? How was it? I like it, what's with you? Tell me! 


	7. Alanna's thoughts

Hi, readers. As always I have to say, „Thanks for the nice reviews!"

**WildSong: **Yes, you're right, it's not so good, but well, I didn't know how to do it in another way.

**Annmarie Aspasia:** I don't know yet if Delia figures out that it's a pregnancy charm. Maybe she tells Roger, but then it would be really bad for Alanna and I don't know if I'm able to write such difficult things.

**maliaphire: **2 things made her leave. The first was, that she had the idea with Delia (I never told you what it was, hehehe) and then she was so embarassed, because she let her sword drop. I know it's a bit silly, but well…..

Now on with the story…

**

* * *

Chapter 7: Alanna's thoughts**

Alanna still stood where she had been and watched Jonathan going away. She was confused and didn't know what to do. She remembered the look in his eyes, when she had said that they would never be together. She was not nearly ready for what she had seen in his eyes. To be honest, it was worse than that. It really scared her.

She shook her head to be able to think clear again, but it didn't help. Then she turned around and walked back to her room. There she sat on the bed and rested her head on her hands. She was really in a mess. Duke Gareth thought Jon and she were gay, Delia had her pregnancy charm and Jon was angry at her. No, he wasn't angry, he was…...upset. The worst thing was that she had no idea to get out of that problems. She didn't even know how to solve one of them.

Alanna stood up and knocked on the connection door to Jonathan's room. No answer. She knocked again. Still no answer. Alanna tried to open the door, allthough she expected it to be locked. It wasn't. She stepped in, but Jonathan wasn't there.

Alanna looked out of her window. It was a beautiful autumn morning and the sun shone. Alanna decided to take a ride with Moonlight and walked to the stables.

She always took a ride if she had problems. Somehow, it always felt as if she could just ride away and everything would be right when she came back. It never was, but when she was galloping over the gras and the wind caressed her face, she seemed to be so far away from all of problems. She could forget that she was a girl, which pretended to be a boy and be just herself and even if it was only for a few hours, it still helped, it still felt wonderful.

Three hours later she went back to her rooms, but Jon was still out. At about 9 o'clock he came into her room. He threw her charm on her bed. "There's your charm", he said. He hid it well, but Alanna knew that he was drunk. "How…", she began, but Jonathan cut her off.

"That's not your problem, is it?", he shouted. "You wanted your charm back? So here you are." Then he walked into his own room and slammed the door.

A few minutes later there was a knock on Alanna's front door. It was Timon (A/N: he's the servant of Duke Gareth isn't he?). "Duke Gareth wants to see you", he said and left. _And the next problem_, Alanna thought and sighed.

* * *

Oh, oh, how did he get the charm? Did he sleep with Delia or didn't he? And why is he drunk? You'll find out soon enough

Well, I know that chapter wasn't long, but well, my last was longer, so don't be angry at me. Sooooooorrrrrrrryyyyy! Ans please review.


	8. Are you gay?

Hi, again! Thanks for the nice reviews!

**maliaphire: **Well, I would like to answere your question, but it's a important part of the story and I don't want everyone to know if Jon has slept with her or not. But well, you'll maybe find out in thenext chapter.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 8: Are you gay?**

The way to Duke Gareth's office had seemed like hours to Alanna. She tried to tell herself that Duke Gareth didn't want to see her because of that 'gay thing' and that he wanted to discuss something else with her. But to be honest, she didn't believe herself. The whole way she was thinking of a good explaining, but nothing came to her mind.

When she finally knocked on Duke Gareth's office door, her heart was beating very quickly. She knew that everything depended on her now. She could solve the problem, but she also could make it worse.

"Come in", she heard Duke Gareth's voice. Alanna sighed and stepped in. "You asked for me, your grace?", she asked.

"Yes, please sit down, Alan.", Duke Gareth said and, to Alanna's surprise, he didn't seem to be angry. Alanna waited a moment but then she did as she was told and sat down on a chair in front of the desk.

"First of all, Alan, I want to apologize.", the duke began, "My reaction was mean and exaggerated. But still, something must be done. The country just can't have a gay king. Do you understand that?"

Alanna, as red as a tomato, nodded.

"That's good. Well, Alan, I have a question and it is important that you tell the truth. So, Alan, **are **you gay? Or is only Jonathan?", he asked, looking deep into her eyes.

Alanna swallowed. "Well, your grace, it's a bit more difficult. Jonathan isn't really gay. That night,...he had drunk very much, because Lady Delia, you know, she had ignored him the whole day and he was really upset and angry. Well, I don't know why he had kissed me, but he hasn't even rememered it that morning. Anyway, today he has talked at least half an hour about the pretty beautiful eyes of Lady Delia. I really don't think he is gay, your grace", she said - or stuttered.

_That wasn't that bad, was it? Maybe he believes me_, Alanna thought.

Duke Gareth raised his brows. "You're sure, Alan?"

"Yes, your grace".

Duke Gareth wrinkled his brow and looked down on his desk for a moment. Then he looked back at Alanna. He sighed. "Well, thank you, Alan, you were a great help. You don't know how relieved I am."

Alanna wanted to stand up and walk out, but then...

"Alan, wait a moment.", Duke Gareth said.

Alanna sat down on the chair again and got panic.

"Alan, if Jon does anything like that again, you have to tell me, okay?", he said.

"Yes, your grace", she said and felt silly for saying that answer again.

Duke Gareth patted her on the back."Your a good boy, Alan. You can go now."

Alanna turned around and left the room. Outside she leaned against the wall and sighed of relief. She had really found a way out. She walked back to her room and looked at the connecting door to Jonathan's room. What should she do? Wait until tomorrow? Tell him now?

She decided to talk to him now, but the door was locked. She knocked, but no answer came. She sighed and thought that it would be the best to wait until the next day.

* * *

Hi, the next chapter will be funny and fluffy and...oh you know...Jon shouts, Alanna shouts...I like that. ;-)! Please review! 


	9. Not able to sleep

Hi, I'm here again! Thanks for the reviews. 32! I'm so happy!

And the story goes on again...

**

* * *

Chapter 9: Not able to sleep**

Alanna could hardly sleep that night and so did Jonathan.They lay awake in there beds, staring at the ceiling. They were thinking about each other, allthough they would never admit it. They tried to sleep, but they weren't successful.

_Why am I still thinking about her that much?_, Jonathan asked himself, _I never thoght about a woman that much before._

_Damn it! Why can't I get him out of my head?_, Alanna thought, _It's not like I'm in love with him or something._

At about 3 o'clock they finally fell asleep.

The next morning after breakfast Alanna decided that it was time to talk to Jonathan. She knocked on his door and entered his room. He was looking out of the window, but he turned round when he heard the knock.

As he saw Alanna he frowned. "Leave me alone, Alanna!", he said and looked away.

"No, Jon! We have to talk", Alanna told him.

"I told you to leave! It was an order, not a request!", Jonathan shouted and pointed to the door.

Alanna put her hands on her hips. "Well, I don't obey it!"

"What do you want, Alanna?"

She sighed. "I want to talk to you."

"You want to talk?" Jon sat down on a chair. "Then Talk."

Alanna grabbed another chair and sat down too. "Duke Gareth sent for my last evening. Well, he asked me about, you know, that incident. I told him you aren't gay and that you did it, because you were drunk. And I think he believed me."

Jonathan had wished that she wanted to talk about something else. Deep inside he knew that she didn't love him, but he still hoped. He swallowed. "Well, thanks" He stood up. "If that's all, you can go now, don't you?"

Alanna walked to the door, but then she stopped. "Jon, what...what have I done? We are still friends, aren't we?"

"Yes, I think so. We are...friends."

Alanna sighed and left then room. Suddenly someone grabbed her shoulder and turned her round. It was Jon.

"Alanna, I...it's...I love you.", he said and looked her deep in the eyes.

Alanna didn't know what to think or what to do. She felt giddy, because he held her so close and she thought that he could hear her heartbeat. Slowly his lips came closer to hers and carefully Jonathan kissed her. Alanna heard her own voice screaming in her head, "_...there is no us and there will never be any us!"_ But now it just felt so right, alltough her fears were still there.

Finally she pulled away, though. "Jon, I...I can't.", she stammered.

Jonathan's eyes were full of hurt again. "Could you tell me why?", he asked.

"I've never planned on falling in love, I just want to be a knight and go on adventures. I don't want to end up like my father.", she tried to explain.

"Who says you will? Love's not always sad and it doesn't always hurts."

Alanna got angry again. "You want to tell me what love's like? You don't know it, either! Yesterday you slept with Delia and now you tell me that you love me?", she screamed.

"I didn't sleep with her!", Jonathan shouted.

Alanna's heart made a jump, but she was still suspicious. "And how did you get my charm?"

"I broke into her rooms. You're not the only one who got picklocks from George."

Alanna looked down at her feet. _Maybe he is right, maybe love isn't that bad, but I don't think I'm ready_, she thought. "Sorry. But Jon, I'm not sure about love yet. Please understand that."

"I do and I won't talk about it again, unless you want so.", Jonathan said.

"Thanks."

After a few moments Jon smiled. "What do you think about meeting Raoul and Gary and see who's the best warrior?"

Alanna began to laugh. "Great idea."

* * *

It's not over, if you think that. Who knows what complications may happen to Alanna and Jon in the next chapter. And will something change Alanna's mind? 


	10. Just nonsense

I'm sorry to update so late. I was on holiday in London and after that I just didn't know how to continue the story, but now, well, you know...

The story goes on again...

Sorry, wait. I forgot something: Thanks for the reviews. You're too kind to me.

**

* * *

Chapter 10: Just nonsense**

It was one of those boring ballnights and Alanna had been told to go and now she was standing in a corner, hoping no one would notice her. But that was the only thing she was thinking about. That ball seemed to be the most horrible she ever attended. The whole evening she was staring at Jonathan, who was flirting with Lady Delia. She tried to ignore him and look away, but she just wasn't able to. She felt like she could throw up and she would rather be anywhere but there. But the thing that annoyed her most was that it upset her that much. _He can do what he wants. After all, I told him that I don't want him_, Alanna told herself, but it didn't really help.

"Squire Alan?", somebody asked.

Alanna turned around to see Lady Rovena. "Yes, Lady Rovena?"

"I just wondered if you would want to talk a little.", she said.

_Great!_, Alanna thought sarcastically. "It would be a pleasure", she replied in a faked friendly voice.

They talked a little about the weather and something like that until Jonathan came over. He looked angry and Alanna wondered why.

"Lady Rovena would you excuse my squire for a moment? I need to talk to him.", he said.

"Of course, your highness."

Jon grabbed Alanna's arm and dragged her behind her. "What do you think you were doing?", he yelled at her.

"I was doing nothing!", Alanna said. She was really confused. What was he talking about?

"Don't play innocent! You mustn't lead the ladies on like that!"

Alanna frowned. "'Lead the ladies on'? I was just talking with her."

"Alanna you can't led the ladies on just that nobody finds out your secret!"

Now Alanna had enough. "Jon, stop that nonsense! I don't lead the ladies on and anyway it's not your business!"

Jon grabbed her shoulders and looked her deep in the eye. "It is my business, because I'm the one that keeps your secret."

Alanna was very angry and her face was almost as red as her hair. She pushed his hands away and tried to keep her voice calm. "Go back to your admirers, Jon, 'cause I'm going now. I've really had enough of you!" With that she turned around and left.

While she walked through the corridors, she thought of something to do. She wanted to get away from the palace. Something about it seemed to upset her. She decided to do something useful. _One day everbody will know that I'm a girl and maybe I'll sometimes have to act like one_, she thought, _So it would be good to learn how to be a girl, wouldn't it?_ That was not the only reason she decided to learn how to dress as a girl. Lately she had also figured out that she liked the beautiful gowns the ladies at court wore. It was hard for her to admit that, but it was that way.

About half an hour later Alanna was knocking on the door of Mrs. Cooper's house. She waited, pulling her cloak tight to protect her against the wind. When Mrs. Cooper opened the door, Alanna asked shyly, "Hello. Can we talk?"

Mrs. Cooper smiled. "Of course, come in and I'll make us some tea"

Alanna entered the house and sat down on a chair. "Would you like some cake?", Mrs. Cooper asked.

"Yes, please."

(A/N: I leave the part with "how's you're arm?" and so on. Okay? I don't want to write all that.)

"How is his highness?", Mrs. Cooper asked.

Alanna blushed. "I'm not sure. He's been very odd lately. Since we returned from the war.", she tried to explain.

"How so?"

"He blows hot then cold. Sometimes I'm his best friend and sometimes he acts as if I'm poison. He-" Alanna became even redder. "he kissed me. Last summer and a few days before. It...it got us into trouble."

Mrs. Cooper raised her eyebrows. "Trouble?"

"Yes, trouble, but...well, I don't want to talk about it. Anyway we solved the problem. But now he's even more odd. I always have to go to social events and dance with all the ladies. But when I really talk to a lady he gets angry." Alanna's voice grew louder. "He says I mustn't lead the ladies on." Alanna gulped her tea, surprised how the words had tumbled out of her.

"You seem rather angered with the prince."

Alanna swallowed. "I don't know how I feel", she muttered. "I just can't figure out why he's treating me that way. Anyway that's not why I came...would you help me to learn how to dress as a girl?"

I leave it to that, because you all know what happens at Mrs. Cooper's house. What do you think? Please review!


	11. Jon's thoughts

Yeah, 50 reviews on the 5th of april. This day is my privat holiday from now on. ;-) Thank you all so much.

**gc rox: **itwas supposed to be funny. Funny for us, dramatic for Jon and Alanna lol

And now the story goes on again...

**

* * *

Chapter 11: 'The dark corridor of pain', or 'Jon's thoughts'**

Meanwhile...

Jonathan watched Alanna leaving the ballroom with big, quick strides. He regretted what he had said to her. How could he have said such silly things? _Surely she thinks I'm an idiot now_, he thought,_ and she is right with that. I am one. These damned words were just coming out of my mouth and I didn't even want them to. The whole evening was bad enough, so why do I have to make it even worse?_

He looked around and saw all those knights laughing and flirting with the court ladies. They were all enjoying themselves. He frowned at them. _Why can't it be like that with Alanna and me?_, he asked himself. _She just doesn't love me. And that's just it. _He wanted to make her love him, but he always did the wrong. Tonight he had tried to make her jealous, but he had become jealous of some court lady, talking with her, and he had made everything worse. Now Alanna was angry and she was right with that too.

_What do I do now? Just leave it like that? Get over the fact that I can't have her? Ignore my feelings for her? No, I've tried it over and over. It just doesn't work. _When he had first discovered how much he cared about his red-haired, stubborn squire and how his heart began to beat when she laughed, he had tried to push these feelings away. He had thought that they were dangerous and unacceptable. He had been afraid of those feelings because they were new and different from the feelings he had had for Lady Delia. He had thought it was dangerous for a going-to-be-king to have feelings like that for any girl, and even more dangerous to have those feelings for a girl who pretended to be a boy. He knew he would have to marry a lady who would bring him power and gold. And Alanna was one of the most impossible choices, he knew that too.

But he had soon realized that he couldn't ignore his feelings. And now that he admitted hism love, he was pushed away. Pushed away by the one he loved. And it seemed as if nothing could change that. But..._What has she said? 'I don't want to end up like my father' Maybe it's because she's afraid of being hurt and maybe it's not because she doesn't love me..._ That thought was always in his mind. When he woke up until when he went to bed. Everyday. It was his one and only hope, the bright spot at the end of this long and dark corridor of pain.

"Why are you looking so sad, your highness?", a melodious voice asked.

Jonathan turned around and saw Lady Delia. _Oh, no_, he thought. There was nothing more that he wanted than tell her to go, but he knew he couldn't. It would cause gossip and new trouble with Duke Gareth.

"It's nothing, Lady Delia.", he answered.

Lady Delia made a sweet smile and fluttered her eyelashes. "I'm tired, your highness, would you be so kind to guide me to my chambers?"

_That's enough now!_, Jon thought, _Should they think what they want. _"I think you know where your chambers are, don't you? Anyway, I'm sure there are lots of other men who would do anything to guide you instead of me. Why don't you ask one of them?", he said, trying hard to keep his voice low.

Delia looked at him confused, not believing what she had just heard. Her mouth opened, but before she could say anything, the prince was gone.

Jonathan left the ballroom without saying a single word to all those men and women who stared at him, their gazes asking for an explaination.

* * *

So what do you think? I like writing about the thoughts of Alanna and Jon. I think it's quite interesting what they think. But no one wants to now what I think, so tell me what YOU think! 


	12. Alanna teaches Jon a lesson

Hey, I have written the next chapter at last! I didn't think that day would come….

But now, on with the story….

**

* * *

Chapter 12: 'Alanna teaches Jon a lesson' or 'Something's itching' lol**

Alanna returned from Mrs. Cooper's house at about 10 o'clock. She doubted that Jonathan was in his rooms yet, so she didn't try to be quiet or tiptoe into her room. How wrong she was...

She entered her room and sat down on her bed. Then she stood up and opened her window. The moderate summer breeze brought the scent of the flowers in the palace gardens to her. Alanna took a deep breath. She thought about the lessons about being a woman. She sighed. She doubted she would ever be as beautiful as Lady Delia or Lady Cythera, no matter what she did. The thought of the two ladies made her walk to her mirror and pile her hair on top of her hair.

The door opened, but Alanna didn't notice. Suddenly she heard something behind her. She turned around and blushed. It was Jonathan and he had an odd look on his face.

"Haven't you been told to knock before you come in?", Alanna asked and put her hands on her hips.

"Sorry…", Jonathan began, but then he began to grin. "Why are you piling your hair on top of you head", he asked, guessing the answer.

"Piling my hair?….Oh yes, I…well, something itched on my neck and I wanted to see if there was something. Not very important, so why do you ask?"

Jonathan raised an eyebrow and tried not to laugh. He knew what Alanna was doing and it was just to funny how she tried to deny it. "Something itched?"

"Yes, don't you believe me?", she asked.

"Not really.", Jon admitted.

"Well, why should I give a damn about what you think? You're thinking quite a lot of nonsense, from what I heard from you today."

Jonathan looked at the floor. "In fact, that's why I came. I wanted to apologize."

"You can't always apologize, you know. You just can't do everything you want and then say you're sorry. Life doesn't work like that. One day you'll be king. What if you execute someone because you think he's guilty and then you find out he's not? Do you think you can just apologize then?"

He looked up again. "No, but…I…", he stammered. Alanna was right. He couldn't always do something stupid and think it is forgotten when he says he's sorry.

"Could you -just once- think before you say something?"

"You're right. Good night." Jonathan turned around and left her room.

Alanna sighed of relief. She had taught him a lesson … Alanna began to giggle. _The look on his face_, she thought and laughed even louder, _the great Prince of Tortall is taught a lesson from his little squire…Just too funny…_

* * *

Hey, guys, (or girls)! I'm not sure if I'll continue this story because it seems to go nowhere. It's just arguments between Jon and Alanna over and over. I tell you something: The incident with Duke Gareth is forgotten and Alanna's 17th birthday will come and the story goes on like in the book. I don't have to write that, do I? I'll make one last chapter … perhaps. 


End file.
